Anonymous

I’ve been worrying every day of my life after turning 20

Me 2 years ago before I graduated kindergarten

Anonymous

:D

Anonymous

Wow. A loaded question. My answer is likely going to change after every stage of this whole process.

My MS1 answer is omg yes you can do it go out and achieve your goals the hard part is getting in!

MS2 answer is: This is definitely a rough ride. Make sure you have a good support system for this crazy roller-coaster and you’ll make it out with some nausea without vomiting.

This is my MS3 answer. I’m starting to see and experience the toxicity. I’m in currently in an outpatient setting for my rotation, but one of my preceptors has already begun the process of making me feel dumber than I already am. I admit it’s also constructive and it has helped push me to learn specific topics better. And I’m sure it’s part of the whole “teaching” thing to be able to handle the even harsher environment of residency. It’s upsetting to say the least, but I’m trying to look ahead at the end goal. And I’m still trying to convince myself that it will be worth it.

So yes, there’s a lot of anxiety, depression and high risk of suicide and burnout, etcetera (and it’s likely that none of this will be effectively addressed by the time I finish residency). But I like to think of it as…a trial? A goal or milestone… to be able to get through it and regain some pride that was lost. My advice is that if your reasons for going into medicine is mostly “altruism,” then you need to really build a better foundation to hold you to this route of becoming a physician. Because I can see how easily altruism (i.e. “I want to help people”) gets lost in this process. A lot of times I have to question myself “Is this really worth it? Why am I doing this again? Why am taking hundreds of thousands of dollars in loans so I can feel incompetent and worthless?” And the thought of straying away from this career path has definitely crossed my mind as a serious option/exit strategy.

Never forget why you want to be a physician. If the reason(s) is/are something that can hold you through the anxiety and depression, I’d say it’s worth the risk. If you know you could be happy doing something other than medicine, don’t jump and immediately throw that off the table. It takes a lot of introspection and honesty with yourself. Really consider your options because the decision of 22-year old you is going to affect late-20s/early 30s you who would have a different perspective on life and altered values.

I think you should also ask other people for their opinions. Like current residents from different specialties. And doctor friends. And doctor non-friends actually. Something about talking to a complete stranger brings about some bitter honesty.